Sex sells, are you buying? Gern is. Gern loves sex, Gern loves news, Gern loves sexy news! Plenty of stuff to talk about when it comes to Britney. Gern will get to it after the jump…

• Not good news for Cheney students. Hooker wants jailhouse treatment for HIV…
• Homemaker sets fire to hooking homeless harlot…
• Cop pimps out daughter. So tragic…But so FUNNY!
• Not fair! Gern wasn’t breast-fed. That’s why Gern is poor…
• What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas (for 3 to 5 years)

Bye, Bye Britney…

What are the odds of Britney Spears pulling an Anna Nicole Smith? She’s losing it, man…losing it. Shit, she lost it over the weekend. Drudge has this link, detailing her complete meltdown. What’s with the wig?

Fox News Bimbo Gets Religion…

The newest correspondent and substitute anchor on Fox News Channel, frequently criticized for focusing on glitz and sex, pulled a gallery of swimsuit photos from her website today after the leading cable news network announced her hiring. (World Net Daily) – Don’t worry though, plenty of sights have them…Meh. Gern’s seen better. World Net Daily…World Poker Tour. Conspiracy? The plot thickens…

Kim Kardashian is Famous for What, Now?

Sucking dick, apparently. Non-celebrity to release celebrity porn DVD. Huzzah, she’s uglier than Paris Hilton (hard to imagine) and until this week, someone Gern’s never heard of. Blech. Drunken Stepfather has the link.

Madonna…

Crazy Kabalistic crooner she may be, but in the 1980s Gern found plenty of uses for her Penthouse and Playboy appearances. Gern also made use of grandparents’ Newsweek which showed one image unedited. Well, not the beaver shot – too much hair – but still did wonders for Gern before he could shoplift Playboy and Penthouse. Thank you, Humor Online.

A Classic Queen…

No, not Liberace. Gern likes Bettie Page. Bettie Page was classy, sassy, and just a little bit nassy (nasty). Gern thinks Bettie Page puts all modern skanks to shame, especially the little Hollywood whores showing their gashes to every photog in America. Shame on you, Mindy Cohn. Whoops, wrong decade. Gern would vomit if he saw that vagina.

Labels: Britney, Celebrities, Horrors of Hooking